we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Randomize
