True but thats because hes a fetus.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
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