you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Randomize
