Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Randomize
