If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
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