i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize