Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
i may or may not be watching the land before time
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Randomize
