Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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