The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
