I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
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