What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Randomize
