If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize
