I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
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