Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Randomize
