Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize
