I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
my being single is dangerous.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
My ass is underappreciated
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Randomize
