All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
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