Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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