he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
