Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
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i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
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My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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