Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
