I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
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