i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
Come share oat with me in your robe
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Randomize
