the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
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