Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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