Welp...herpes.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
We're too hungover to prance.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
