Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
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I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
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She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
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