To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
