just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
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