Sry I called you an 8
Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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