worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize