i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
handjob tips. give me some.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Randomize
