This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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