Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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