Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
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