I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
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