I molested 6 butterflies tonight
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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