Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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