Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
it was like eating out sand paper
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
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