Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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