taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
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