he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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