i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Randomize
