I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
