Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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