I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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