Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
