Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
Just puked most of my soul out..
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