these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize