This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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