i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
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Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
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Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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