I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
