I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Randomize
