Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
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