BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
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