Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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