Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
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I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
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We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
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